Where's Stanley???

Citizen Stanley!

2010-12-05T17:34:00.001-08:00

As the holidays get closer, we can't help but be overwhelmed by how different our lives are than last year. Last year at this time, we had just returned from a pretty traumatic visit with Stanley. Mike, Stanley and I all sobbed as we said goodbye and we had NO idea when he would be home. We struggled to enjoy our first holiday with Dane all the while feeling guilty that Stanley was all alone. Watching other toddlers take pictures with Santa and even our nephew open his gifts on Christmas morning were cruel reminders that Stanley was not home. A year later, we will have two toddlers racing down the stairs to see what Santa brought them, two kids to cuddle on the couch with, and a whole new family of friends that have shared this journey with us. At the same time, we are completely aware that although Stanley is home, and in part, because of the earthquake, the same earthquake is the reason so many other people are not with their families this year.

Now that we are busy living this crazy life, we haven't been writing as much. Thanks to those of you who have written to see how we are doing. We forget how invested so many people were in helping us bring him home. Just this weekend, I crashed my sister-in-law's book-club. There were a few people I had never met and naturally the conversation turned to children- although, as often happens, they all knew all about our family. Lots of people we didn't know or had lost touch with over the years wrote letters or prayed for us- and it is only now becoming clear that we haven't really been able to thank them.

Since our last post, Stanley became a U.S. citizen!!!! , starting preschool, and we've moved! Stanley is talking up a storm, running around like a typical two-year old, and being a really good big brother.

Adoption Decree!!!

2010-07-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

We just found out that our agency coordinator has received the copy of our adoption decree from Haiti! Basically, that means that it is over- he is legally our son! We are going to readopt him in Maryland so that we can get a U.S. birth certificate and we still need to file for his citizenship but those are simply formalities!

Stanley's buddies have shelter!

2010-04-24T18:04:00.001-07:00

Just a quick note to say THANK YOU to everyone who gave generously in the days and weeks after the earthquake- we started the fund for Stanley's orphanage- hoping to bring emergency supplies directly to the kids and to help sustain the organization after the wave of initial support waned. We sent some of the funds directly to the orphanage director to help with immediate needs but wanted to find a project to take on. Although many of the children had been matched with families prior to the earthquake and have been brought to the U.S. under Humanitarian Parole (or to other countries with similiar international agreements with Haiti), there are still children left behind. These kids are still sleeping outside because of their fear of the building collapsing. It has been hard to ascertain whether this is a real possibility- I mean, we have no way of knowing how structuraly sound the building is. The generator has been sent to the capital to help the director maintain energy so she can continue to work (and process adoption paperwork). This leaves spotty electricity so there is no way to keep food and medicine cold (and safe). After LOTS of logistics (mostly handled by our good friend Donna!), the fund purchased and shipped a 50 person tent that is being set up today- I am waiting to see pictures!!! The rest of the existing funds will be targeted at filling a shipping container with whatever supplies are most important, and, we hope one or two medical professionals. We'll keep you posted!

Stanley Video Montage

2010-04-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

Stanley's aunties made him this video for his 2nd bday! Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Stanley!!!

2010-04-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

Stanley is two years old today! We are so so grateful he is home to celebrate! The sun is shining, its opening day for the Orioles, and its Friday! Today is a very good day! Life is good.

Huge news!!!

2010-03-29T18:46:00.001-07:00

Quick update- just received word that our Orphanage Director has received our final adoption decree (which means we exited Parquet!). To put this in perspective- the children who were at this stage when the earthquake hit, came home with finalized adoptions- we are very very close! This will make it much easier to apply for Stanley's citizenship!

Lots to update but busy living our lives as a crazy family of four- will write more this week...

More on the journey home...

2010-03-23T17:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know it has been more than a month since I posted last- and once again, it was someone else prompting me to update the blog... so, let's see- when I left off last time, Michael and Stanley were on a flight to Orlando. I have to mention that although we were obviously ecstatic that Stanley and a few of his buddies were coming home, it was gut wrenching to know that most of the children were not coming back on that flight. At that point, we weren't sure if this was going to be the last wave of children to come home for a while. One of our dear friends in particular, whose husband was in Haiti with Michael, and who had been working around the clock like we had on behalf of all of the families, was heartbroken and I honestly didn't know what to say to her. I knew that there were some families who thought it was suspicious that Michael was there and Stanley was on this list- as if he had somehow influenced the process. For those of you who don't know us very well- Michael and I had a very difficult failed domestic adoption two years ago- the birthmother of our first son changed her mind after a few weeks. I know what it is like to come home without your child and the thought that these families- friends- would be going through that was unbearable. We vowed to try to continue to work on behalf of all of the children. Our middle of the night drive from Ft. Lauderdale to Orlando involved a low gas tank, a missed exit, backing up the highway, and getting pulled over! After taking one look at my friend and I and hearing our pitiful story, the officier actually gave us a police escort to the gas station!

We arrived at the airport to learn that the children had landed safely!!!! We were told that we would not be allowed in customs and that we should come back at 1 or 2 PM to fill out some paperwork. Crushed (and a little disapointed that we hadn't taken the time to pack our bags and check out of the hotel...), we decided to head to a hotel for the night. Moments later, we got a call that a nice security guard was going to allow us to come back to see the children (but only for a minute)! As we walked through the gates, we saw what looked like a hundred children laying on blankets in a big roped off area. Frantically, we scanned for our babies- and I saw Michael- and Stanley. He was sleeping (it was about 4 AM). This was it- this was that moment that I'd been preparing for 1 1/2 years. I found out later that one of the other fathers captured that moment in a picture so I've included it. Can you see all the children in the background? Looks chaotic, right? While our orphanage only had 7 children and three escorts, there were two other very large groups with almost 100 children- and very few adults. Somehow, nobody came back to escort me out and I was able to stay with the kids until our paperwork was processed- which was not until 10 PM! Yep, we sat in that room with all of those sick and tired children for another 18 hours!

Volunteers brought food and diapers but the time just dragged. The children had to be individually fingerprinted and then their files reviewed by Customs Officiers. AFTER all of the children had been processed through customs, those of us that were in Category II (Humanitarian Parole) had to go through another file review by the Department of Health and Human Services- this is because under Humanitarian Parole, the kids are actually being released to foster parents (us). Regardless, the process was long and arduous and after three days of no sleep and unbelievable stress, I started to go a little crazy. I remember feeling like we were being held hostage! I think I actually said to Michael at some point, "they can't do this, we are American citizens!" Throughout the day, they kept saying that some of the children would be flown to Miami for processing but wouldn't tell us which ones- I couldn't stop thinking of the other families who, like us, had just driven for hours to Orlando- and now, we might have to go back??? After that crazy wait, it was over. They called our names. We answered a few questions and signed a few forms. Then it was over- almost! We were stopped on our way out and asked if we had our I-94 receipt. Our what? We showed the officer our paperwork and he replied, "Oh no, you need that receipt!" After about 30-40 minutes of searching, someone else appeared with the receipt and we were finally on our way. I felt like running- as in- "please nobody else stop us..." As we walked out of customs, we handed Stanley an American flag and a Haitian flag. He looked so happy and content. We knew how he felt.

We stayed in a nice hotel that night (I'm sure we were a sight when we checked in!). Stanley slept between us in a very comfty bed- probably his first in weeks. We made a few calls, ordered some food, and enjoyed our first night as a family. The rest of the journey home was rather uneventful. A nice flight attendant presented Stanley with a certificate from the Pilot of our flight to BWI that says "Stanley's first flight" (nevermind he flew from PAP to Orlando) and the captain said "Welcome Home Stanley" on the intercom.

All of this seems so long ago at this point. Now, life is full of packing lunches and diaper bags, walks in the park, bedtime stories, really great hugs and kisses, and so many "firsts." I will write more soon (I promise) about how that is going- but, we continue to be amazed at Stanley's resiliency and Dane's acceptance of his new brother. The two of them are so fun together.

life as a family of four!

2010-02-19T19:04:00.001-08:00

We started this blog as a way to keep our family and some friends in the loop about our journey to bring Stanley home- having no idea that it would take this long or end so dramatically! What we also didn't account for was that so many people (some of whom we don't even know) would be following. We had no way of predicting that so many people would be rooting Stanley on! I received a funny email from someone today saying that some of her friends (who apparantly wrote letters on Stanley's behalf, prayed, etc.) were bugging her for updates! I am so grateful that people to hear our story, so here is the latest:

After flying to Fort Lauderdale, where we were originally anticipating Stanley and ALL of his buddies to arrive, we learned that the embassy turned our agency coordinator away on the day of our appointment (Friday 1/22). A flury of calls to the State Department later and she was told she could return but by this point, the children were on there way back to the orphanage- it was (as we had been warning) not safe for them to wait outside of the embassy, without supplies or security. Our agency contact was told to come back on Sunday. She continued to work and lobby through the weekend but the logistical support people that she was working with to coordinate flights, etc. began to pull out. This is a topic for a whole other post, but apparently UNICEF, etc. were applying pressure to aid organizations NOT to help in the transporting of orphans in the name of preventing child trafficking. We knew that our coordinator needed support so Michael and two other fathers volunteered to fly to Haiti to help. Admittedly, I really really wanted to go but we needed a few people who could go and be calm, rationale, flexible, etc. We also needed people who would work on behalf of all of the children. The fathers agreed to not even go to the orphanage- which I would have been unable to do! I even tried to lobby that since I am still breastfeeding, that could go and feed some of the children... :)!

THAT may also be a story for another post- some of you may not even realize that we have another child- we purposefully never mentioned Dane on this blog before. If you've been following, you know that Stanley's file had been stuck in a stage of the process known as IBESR because we are under 35 years old. The preferred criteria for adopting from Haiti is between 35-50 years of age, married 10 years, and no biological children. We had been in the processing of adopting Stanley for months by the time we got pregnant and were scared that having another child would jeopordize the adoption. We had no idea we would be in IBESR for a whole year! We just decided that until we were out, we would not mention Dane on the blog, since it is public.

Ok, I guess we have a lot to update- did we mention that in the wake of all of this chaos, we found out that we had actually exited IBESR on December 24th? Apparently, our contacts were notified on January 11th and our signed file was delivered to the oprhanage a few days after the earthquake!!!

Back to the trip... as you can imagine, I scared to have Michael go to Haiti but knew that I couldn't join him- as Michael said, one of us needed to stay behind for Dane, "in case something happened." That may sound melodramatic now, but at the time, we had no idea what the conditions were and where the guys would be sleeping, how they would get around, or how long this process would take. Noone had any faith that our appointment would be honored on Sunday. Back in Ft. Lauderdale, as more of the families gathered (remember we were all expecting our children to be home that evening), we decided to mobilize and do what we could to help coordinate flights, keep everyone informed, and advocate for our agency/orphanage. There was a little command center set up at the local small airport. The pilots and staff were AMAZING and let us take over their lounge around the clock. One of the families took over greeting the arriving families and collecting copies of documents and information and some of us worked on trying to arrange flights, airports, and logistical support. Some of the aid organizations would say that they had extra seats flying out of Port au Prince at a certain time then we would try to figure out which Florida airport they could get into and try to determine if that airport had access to medical support and customs. We worked with a local church and the Red Cross to get carseats for the families, we rented a few large vans, and tried our best to communicate with the guys on the ground.

Speaking of, Michael and the other fathers arrived Saturday afternoon and spent the entire day at the airport. I should really let Michael tell this part of the story but apparently, they were able to sleep in a tent in a tent city of aid workers that had been set up. They were able to figure out the process for getting kids onto different planes (the planes were coming and going and could only sit on the runway for a hour, which meant we would have to act fast when the kids were released for travel). At different points we were told the kids had to be travel-ready in order to book seats OR that we needed a plane and its tail number in order for the kids to be released. The guys had a few very uncomfortable run-ins with UNICEF and folks working on their behalf but I think I'll let Michael tell that story- for those of you who do not know, UNICEF DOES NOT support international adoption and it is largely believed that many of the delays in this process was as a result of their influence.

I'm not sure if anyone is still reading (sorry this is so long)... On Sunday, the dads met our agency coordinator at the embassy. Apparently, Michael was able to gain entry for himself and the others ONLY after showing his government ID. At the embassy, they waited with our agency coordinator tried repeatedly to get information. They were told again and again that "we were next." As the day went on, we were all losing faith that this would happen- until at about 2 PM, a man emerged with a list of 7 names and said these 7 were needed for photos- and Stanley was on it! The dads knew that these 7 would be the first to get processed but still hoped that the rest would be soon to follow. Those 7 kids (all under 4 years old) were quickly loaded up into a van and driven to the embassy. That means, no goodbyes, no gathering of belongings. Michael and another father spent the next 8 hours or so waiting with these 7 babies at the embassy. Finally, at around 10, they were given their travel documents. Around this time, we were also told that beginning the next day, the Prime Minister himself would need to approve all travel documents before kids could leave the country. With little sleep in the past few days and the history of the unpredictability of Haitian adoptions, I thought that if those kids didn't get out that night, it was never going to happen. With the help of some military contacts, a flight was secured and the kids were rushed to the airport. I must have sent Michael a million texts begging him to get the plane off the ground. He had a hard time responding because he was holding two or three sleeping children. At about midnight, the flight took off. Instead of flying to Ft. Lauderdale or Miami like we thought, we were told it was headed to Orlando!

I think that I'll save the rest of that night for another post. I'll also write more about how we are doing as a family. The long story short- is that we are great! Stanley is relatively healthy (nothing a little antibiotics, the BRAT diet, and a lot of love and consistency won't cure) and we are settling into a routine. In one month, he has survived an earthquake and TWO blizzards- we have had record snows which has given us time to be snowed in together as a family. I'll say it a million times and it will never be enough- thank you for your support, prayers, letters, and good vibes- Stanley is one loved little boy.

We're home!!!

2010-01-27T19:22:00.000-08:00

Pretty wiped after the whirlwind and chaos of the last few days- I'll sit down and write the story tomorrow but for now, all that matters is that Stanley is home! Many of his buddies are still in Haiti though so the work continues... More on that tomorrow too!

Monica in Florida, Michael in Haiti...

2010-01-23T21:01:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if anyone follows this blog religiously, if so- I apologize for the delay in updates. It is hard to believe that it is now Saturday. The last few days have been like a blur. On Thursday afternoon, Michael and I hopped on a plane to Ft. Lauderdale. At that time, it was looking pretty good that Stanley would be home on Fridayish. Based on the information we got, visas were being processed and we had a good team of volunteers helping to coordinate flights, etc. Some parents decided to wait until they got word that their kids were in the air, but we didn't think we could wait any longer. On Friday, it became clear that we would spend the whole day doing exactly the same thing we were doing at home- staring at the computer. Our agency coordinator was able to get sporadic WiFi and was facebooking and tweeting so we just kept her pages up and pressed the "refresh" button every few minutes. She was actually turned away from the embassy, despite having an appointment and another orphanage took our spot!!!! After she was initially turned away, she communicated that with us and the parents/staff of LBB immediately contacted all of the officals that have been helping us and within minutes, the embassy said she could come back. By then, the kids were back on their way to the orphanage. She was told to come back on Sunday at 9 AM. She was then called back today (apparently to clear up paperwork and to process some of the files for her kids from another orphanage). 11 of THOSE kids went home today!

In the meantime, she was told that although she has this appointment tomorrow, that the paperwork will be processed but that the visas will not be issued until Monday! The other major hurdle is that the ministry group that our agency staff secured to work with us and help with logistics is having to take a less prominent role in the transporting of the kids because of pressure from UNICEF. For those of you that don't know, UNICEF is completely and 100% committed to keeping kids in their country of birth and will do anything in their power to block international adoptions. Their interference in Haiti is under the guise of wanting to prevent child trafficing BUT they are very aware that the children we are transporting were ALREADY in the process of being adopted and had been legally cleared for adoption by both the Haitian government and the U.S. government (complete with interviews with the birth parent/DNA test or death certificate of parent).

Our agency coordinator has been trying to run a one-woman show and it became clear that she would need some back-up. Someone to help her hold a place in line at the embassy, someone to help coordinate flights, someone to relay messages to the U.S., etc., etc. So, Michael and two other dads flew down today. Last night, as we were deciding who to send, I knew instinctively that Michael should go. He is so level-headed and calm and organized and selfishly, I wanted him to get his hands on Stanley! On the other hand, the thought of being worried about both of them and not having Michael for support was killing me. In the end, I know that he is better off there and we need to do whatever it takes to bring Stanley and his buddies home.

After many many emails with elected officials, etc., I am crossing my fingers that a few kids get their visas issued tomorrow but if not, AT LEAST by Monday morning. If all goes well, they will be escorting all of the children home- can you imagine that plane ride?

Anyway, thats all for now...

Chaos at the embassy!

2010-01-20T14:01:00.001-08:00

From our understanding, hundreds of children were brought to the U.S. embassy in Haiti today with only a handful of USCIS officers able to process their travel documents. The situation has gone from troublesome to dangerous! Although it has been days since Humanitarian Parole was granted, the State Department has yet to implement a safe plan to get our children to safety! We understand that Stephanie was able to land in Port au Prince after a diversion to the Dominican Republic and should be with the kids this evening. The State Department is requesting that the orphanages wait to be contacted by them for details on a "plan." We don't have a lot of faith in this "plan" existing or being implemented quickly. It seems as if everyone has forgotten the reality of this urgent situation! We hope to hear something tonight.

On a much lighter note, Stanley is about to become famous! We were interviewed by WBAL TV, the Baltimore Sun, The Gazette, and tomorrow, we'll be on Fox 45 live at 7:15! More later...

2010-01-19T15:59:00.000-08:00

Another day of waiting with NO NEWS! It seems that although advocacy groups have developed a safe, effective plan for bringing our children home, it is back in the federal government's hands- we are desperately waiting for news that they have taken the appropriate steps to make this happen. Again, we ask you to help us... You can start by contacting your legislators... Remember, its easy, fast, and effective!

1. Go to http://www.congress.org/ to find your legislator
2. Just type in your zip code and then follow the links for the U.S. Senators and Representatives, and BARACK OBAMA
3. You can click to "contact" and submit your "comments."
4. Copy and paste the following text into the box:

I am writing to request your swift action with the next and crucial stage of evacuating orphans from Haiti. As you may have heard, Secretary Napolitano announced yesterday that Humanitarian Parole status would be granted to Haitian orphans who had already begun the adoption process with American families at the time the earthquake struck Haiti. We are grateful for this important first step, but time is of the essence to ensure safe and successful evaulation of these children from Haiti. The situation on the ground in Port au Prince is deteriorating by the hour. Water, food and medicine are running out. Gangs have looted some of the orphanages and even travel is not safe for the children.

We are asking our government to pull together and create a Safe Haven Central processing center in Haiti as soon as possible so all the children have safe shelter, protection, food, water, medical care, and can have their paperwork processed for entering the US.

I ask that you please help by personally calling Secretary of State Clinton and USAID Administrator-designate Shah and specifically request that they authorize that security forces on the ground in Haiti be sent to the staging center that is being set up for the orphans and that these forces also assist in the extraction and transport of these children from their orphanages to the staging center. All other pieces of a successful operation of this staging center are currently in place, but all hinge on this authorization of security and transport of the children. Please help us finish the mission of getting these children into the loving arms and care of their American families so that assistance efforts on the ground in Haiti can focus on those who do not have alternatives for care.

Thank you,

Stanley is coming home!!!!

2010-01-18T18:54:00.000-08:00

They are still working out the exact logistics, but here is the press release...

Press Office
U.S. Department of Homeland Security

Press Release

January 18, 2010
Contact: DHS Press Office, (202) 282-8010

SECRETARY NAPOLITANO ANNOUNCES HUMANITARIAN PAROLE POLICY FOR CERTAIN HAITIAN ORPHANS

WASHINGTON—Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Janet Napolitano, in coordination with the U.S. Department of State, today announced a humanitarian parole policy allowing orphaned children from Haiti to enter the United States temporarily on an individual basis to ensure that they receive the care they need—as part of the U.S. government’s ongoing support of international recovery efforts after last week’s earthquake.

“We are committed to doing everything we can to help reunite families in Haiti during this very difficult time,” said Secretary Napolitano. “While we remain focused on family reunification in Haiti, authorizing the use of humanitarian parole for orphans who are eligible for adoption in the United States will allow them to receive the care they need here.”

Humanitarian parole into the United States may be granted by the Secretary of Homeland Security to bring otherwise inadmissible individuals into the country on account of urgent humanitarian reasons or other emergencies. The humanitarian parole policy announced by Secretary Napolitano today will be applied on a case-by-case basis to the following children:

• Children who have been legally confirmed as orphans eligible for intercountry adoption by the Government of Haiti and are being adopted by U.S. citizens.

• Children who have been previously identified by an adoption service provider or facilitator as eligible for intercountry adoption and have been matched to U.S. citizen prospective adoptive parents.

Under applicable laws, unaccompanied minors entering the country without a parent or legal guardian will be turned over to the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) Office of Refugee Resettlement.

Today’s announcement expands the humanitarian relief that the U.S. Government is extending to Haitians in response to the devastation caused by the earthquake. Last week, Secretary Napolitano announced the designation of Temporary Protected Status for Haitian nationals who were physically present in the United States as of Jan. 12, 2010—allowing eligible Haitian nationals to continue living and working in the United States for the next 18 months. Those who attempt to travel to the United States after Jan. 12, 2010 will not be eligible for TPS and will be repatriated

More information about humanitarian parole and TPS is available at www.uscis.gov or by calling USCIS toll-free at (800) 375-5283. DHS encourages U.S. citizens with pending adoption cases in Haiti to send us detailed information about their cases to HaitianAdoptions@dhs.gov.

Lobbying for Humanitarian Parole

2010-01-17T17:41:00.000-08:00

Well, another day down, and NO NEWS!!! We have learned that despite the fact that congressional leadership has explicitly asked Secretary Clinton to support granting Humanitarian Parole status to all orphans who were in the process of being adopted. We are desperately trying to apply pressure to make sure this becomes a reality! Please take the time to write (another) letter to your representative- we HAVE TO KEEP THE PRESSURE ON!

1. Go to http://www.congress.org/ to find your legislator
2. Just type in your zip code and then follow the links for the U.S. Senators and Representatives and BARACK OBAMA
3. You can click to "contact" and submit your "comments."
4. Copy and paste the following text into the box:

I am writing on behalf of our friends, Michael and Monica Simonsen who have been in the process of adopting their son, Stanley Hermane, from Haiti since August 2008. Just like the thousands of other orphans in Haiti, he is in grave danger due to the worsening conditions in Haiti. Without proper access to food, water, and shelter, the children are susceptible to disease. Additionally, the trauma of the earthquake has no doubt begun to cause emotional harm to these children.

It is with these factors in mind that we urge you to support the initiave to grant Humanitarian Parole to all orphans in Haiti who were in the process of being adopted. Humanitarian Parole would not circumvent the adoption process but would allow the children of American families to get to safety while freeing up resources for the remaining orphans in Haiti.

We know that the State Department is working hard to develop policies but time may be running out for these children! It is extremely important that the U.S. follow the lead of other nations and evacuate these children immediately.

Please contact our friends, Monica and Michael Simonsen at monica.simonsen@gmail.com if you would like to discuss this issue further. I look forward to hearing of your continued support of these Haitian orphans and their American families here at home. Thank you, in advance, for your help and consideration.

This is no time to back off- we are almost there- these kids may really come home- but ONLY if we keep the pressure up- PLEASE help us!

2010-01-17T17:40:00.000-08:00

1. Go to http://www.congress.org/ to find your legislator
2. Just type in your zip code and then follow the links for the U.S. Senators and Representatives.
3. You can click to "contact" and submit your "comments."
4. Copy and paste the follwoing text into the box:

I am writing on behalf of our friends, Michael and Monica Simonsen who have been in the process of adopting their son, Stanley Hermane (DOB: 4/9/2008), from Haiti since August 2008. Stanley was brought to Petit Anges de Chantal orphanage when he was only two months old. He was severely malnourished and covered in scabies. They have visited him in Haiti three times, each time bringing supplies and donations to the orphanage. The resources are scarce under normal circumstances and with the current crisis, there is a genuine concern that the children will not survive. They have received a USCIS approved I-797C form and signed and submitted their I-600 in front of an immigration official at the U.S. embassy in Haiti. I know that there are many families around the country who are at various stages of the adoption process and they need your help.

I am writing to request that you support initiatives created to help expedite the adoption process for children who already have completely committed U.S. approved families waiting at home. Expediting the process will not only secure their safety but will free up already scarce resources for children orphaned by this disaster.
Thank you, in advance, for your swift action in helping bring Stanley and all the other children in Haiti currently in the adoption process home.

We are hoping to put this information on our website as well but in the meantime, we want to see how many letters we can generate! Let's make some noise!!!

Lastly, we have set up a fondation for the orphanage. We are trying to collect as much as we can ($10,000 by Monday) so that we can mobilize and gets resources DIRECTLY TO STANLEY'S ORPHANAGE!!! Here is the link: http://pachaitifund.bbnow.org/

finally, some news!!!

2010-01-16T19:05:00.000-08:00

First of all, someone has heard from Marie, the orphanage director, and she and the kids are still ok! Our friend, Jean Garry (who has been our driver/translator when we visit) has apparently helping her gather supplies for the kids.

We have been completely consumed with the efforts to raise money and generate support for expediting the adoptions in progress from Haiti. It is starting to sound really really positive!!! At this point we are hoping that our children are granted Humanitarian Parole, which would allow them to come home before the adoptions are finalized. There are rumors that some children are already en route... can't find confirmation of that though.

Basically, we have been told to wait by the phone/computer, gather money for remaining fees, and be ready to travel at a moments' notice. Can you imagine??? We are holding our breath right now. Keep those prayers and good thoughts coming!!!

By the way, we have raised almost $13,000 so far! We are SOOOO grateful. We know that in the coming weeks, months, and probably years to come, the orphanage will need sustained support. We are vowing to do just that, long after Stanley is home (which could maybe actually finally be soon!!!).

foundation, letters to legislators

2010-01-15T03:38:00.000-08:00

Nothing more about Stanley- we are waiting for the orphanage director to contact someone again. She is a very resourceful woman and we know she is doing everything she can to keep our babies safe.

Now, the reason for this post- we have a REAL opportunity here to save the lives of hundreds (maybe thousands) of childrens' lives- including Stanley's!

Today at 10 AM, there will be a State Department meeting about the options for expediting adoptions for families/children whose Haitian adoptions are already in process. We have learned that many of the adoption-related offices in Haiti have collapsed and our best chance is that the U.S. government grants temporary visas to our children to expedite the process! This is the most important thing I have ever asked anyone to do- PLEASE send this letter to your legislators.

1. Go to http://www.congress.org/ to find your legislator
2. Just type in your zip code and then follow the links for the U.S. Senators and Representatives.
3. You can click to "contact" and submit your "comments."
4. Copy and paste the follwoing text into the box:

I am writing on behalf of our friends, Michael and Monica Simonsen who have been in the process of adopting their son, Stanley Hermane (DOB: 4/9/2008), from Haiti since August 2008. Stanley was brought to Petit Anges de Chantal orphanage when he was only two months old. He was severely malnourished and covered in scabies. They have visited him in Haiti three times, each time bringing supplies and donations to the orphanage. The resources are scarce under normal circumstances and with the current crisis, there is a genuine concern that the children will not survive. They have received a USCIS approved I-797C form and signed and submitted their I-600 in front of an immigration official at the U.S. embassy in Haiti. I know that there are many families around the country who are at various stages of the adoption process and they need your help.

I am writing to request that you support initiatives created to help expedite the adoption process for children who already have completely committed U.S. approved families waiting at home. Expediting the process will not only secure their safety but will free up already scarce resources for children orphaned by this disaster.
Thank you, in advance, for your swift action in helping bring Stanley and all the other children in Haiti currently in the adoption process home.

We are hoping to put this information on our website as well but in the meantime, we want to see how many letters we can generate! Let's make some noise!!!

Lastly, we have set up a fondation for the orphanage. We are trying to collect as much as we can ($10,000 by Monday) so that we can mobilize and gets resources DIRECTLY TO STANLEY'S ORPHANAGE!!! Here is the link: http://pachaitifund.bbnow.org/

With love and appreciation, Michael, Monica, Dane, and STANLEY!

updates, how to help?

2010-01-15T03:31:00.000-08:00

I was going to apologize by saying that I am sorry I haven't updated since the earthquake struck, but Iknow that people have been following along with the news and our friends through facebook, etc. Somehow, amidst the chaos and devastation, all of the kids at Stanley's orphanage have survived! The staff have literally risked their own lives to make sure our babies are safe! After literally clinging to the TV and computer all of Tuesday night without word, we learned on Wednesday morning that Stanley was ok. The kids slept in the street and were scared and low on supplies but alive. That overwhelming fear has since given way to extreme grief and now inspiration... We are sick over the loss of life and the devastation to this country that we love.

Just hearing the noises and sounds from the streets of Port au Prince transports us to that place. Some of the most meaningful moments of our lives have happened there. It is the birthplace of our son, where his birthmother lives, and the place where I feel most at peace. Far away from the rat race, materialism, and luxuries, when we are in Haiti, we just are. Now, what is left? What will happen to the people, the landmarks, the culture?

We know for sure that Staney is not out of the woods yet- supplies are running low and it will be hard to keep the children fed and healthy. More on this later...

We're home again

2009-11-29T13:45:00.000-08:00

As I look back at the post that we wrote after our first trip, I realize that I sound so overwhelmed but optimistic. Now, I think it is the polar opposite. This trip was so much calmer and more relaxed and yet, I don’t think we are any closer to bringing Stanley home.

Most importantly, he looks good. He has obviously gained some weight and he seems to be pretty strong. The monthly updates we get said that he was only 29 inches tall- which was way off the growth charts. When we measured him, it was closer to 31, small but on the charts. His belly is still super swollen, which everyone assures me will shrink soon after he gets home. He had a really bad tummy again on this trip and it is hard to know whether he is frequently sick or its because of the change in his diet/routine when he is with us.

Although he wants desperately to walk, he needs to hold onto something or someone to take more than two or three steps. Our friend, Donna, who traveled with us brought her son, Evans a little push toy that he used all week and seemed to love the freedom! When we dropped him back off at the orphanage, the director seemed surprised as how mobile he was with it. Hopefully, they will encourage him to use it so he can get around. We get the impression that the kids don’t get a lot of exercise unless they can walk on their own and keep up with the "big kids."

Since we were traveling with just two other families and the kids were waiting in Port au Prince, there was a lot less coordination that was needed. We flew into Fort Lauderdale on Thursday night and slept for a few hours before flying to PAP early Friday morning. When we landed, we bought a Digicel cell phone and minutes that we could use to make national and international calls. We couldn’t believe how easy it was! Our trusty driver/friend was waiting for us as promised. We went straight to the O Director’s house, where the kids were waiting. We arrived and found out she was not there but that the nannies would get the kids and bring them to us. We must have waited for 20 minutes- we have learned that the nannies want to bathe and dress the kids for us. Of course, we are just dying waiting to see them!! Finally, a woman walks into the room holding our little man. He looks scared, with his thumb in his mouth like always. I take him and rock and sing to him for a while. By the time we leave her house, he seems pretty comfortable with me and ok around Mike. He is quiet and doesn’t smile but there are no tears. For the next few hours, we do our best to reassure him. Its hard to realize that he is scared of us and has no idea how much we love him.

For the first time, I am wondering if it is better not to come. If he is better off without the disruption and if we are better off not witnessing his fear of us- and his lack of recognition. That night, we realize that Stanley is NOT a good sleeper. He tosses and turns and moans all night long. At some point we wonder if he is having night terrors! None of us get any sleep and I awake feeling like this could be a long trip.

I’m not sure when it happened but somewhere between that morning and the end of our trip, Stanley came to life! I remember when I saw the beginning of a smile and then when we heard his first giggle. We started to hear words (in Kreyol so it was hard to figure out what they meant). He loved to hand us his toys and say “Men,“ (pronounced “Meh”) which means “here” or “take it.“ Nothing prepared us for the first time we heard him say “daddy” and “dadda,” which means mommy. The first time he cried and reached for me when Donna was holding him, I pretended to laugh but I really wanted to cry. The fact that he was so timid at first and that we have to cram all of our memories of him into a few days per year made these milestones more momentous.

One other unbelievable moment was when we Skyped with my family. For the first time, they were able to see, hear, and talk to our son. He was laughing and talking and hitting the computer and for a moment, it all seemed real. As if he really will come home one day. Right now, we are so scared. We are waiting desperately for word that the IBESR Director will refer us for dispensation- at this point, she is still indicating that she isn’t willing to refer anyone who is under 35. We were hoping to get the chance to meet directly with the director (at the recommendation of our facilitator) during our visit. As of now, our agency coordinator is scheduled to meet with the director during her visit next week. To be honest, I don’t have much faith that the meeting will take place OR that it will be productive.

In talking to other families that are adopting from other orphanages, we are starting to get nervous. While we absolutely believe that our O director and our agency coordinator are trying THEIR hardest, we have been told a few times that the IBESR lawyer that your O works with makes a BIG difference in whether or not "difficult" cases get processed. Maybe it doesn't matter what our facilitator or agency coordinator does and, instead, some IBESR lawyer? We don't want to rock the boat and risk stepping on anyone's toes but how can we find this out?

We are comforted by a few things- that we have yet to meet or talk to anyone whose adoption DID NOT go through- although there are horror stories of adoptions taking 3, 4 and 5 years... and, noone else seems to be panicking about our file. On the other hand, why should anyone else panic? It's our son and our family and as hard as everyone tries to understand, we have to carry that weight, this fear, ourselves.

We had the pleasure of traveling with Julie and Paul who are adopting the three loveliest brothers (ages 3 and 4) and Donna, with her son, Evans. Both families are out of IBESR and we are optimistic that they will be bringing their children home in the next few months. We also learned that in the next few weeks, two of the families we met on our December trip will be traveling to pick up their children! What is becoming increasingly difficult is the fact that most of the other families we have met through this process seem to be moving along fine. We said at the beginning that adopting internationally was so much less lonely than our experience with Blake. But, now, once again, as other families prepare to welcome their children home, our family is being left behind. We recognize that we don't have a monopoly on difficult adoption experiences- but, still, right now- this sucks.

We'll post some more pictures and a few videos soon.

We're packing!

2009-11-06T12:10:00.000-08:00

Its impossible to describe how we are feeling right now- I am so anxious about this trip but so excited to see Stanley and be back in Haiti. I am terrified about the meeting that our faciltator has arranged between us and the Director of IBESR. We are supposed to meet with her and somehow try to convey our love for Stanley and our worthiness as parents? How do we do that? How do we communicate (through a translator) how we fell in love with him the moment we saw his picture? How do we articulate the sheer joy we felt the first time we held him or woke up with him between us? How can we capture the sense of peace and completeness that we feel when we talk about him? And there is really no way to describe the devastation that we feel each time we say goodbye. I don't know how to make her understand that we are capable of being good parents to Stanley and that her rules don't make sense (without losing my temper).

What if she refuses? What if we have to keep visiting our son indefinately while this plays out? What if he loses more of his childhood?

We leave on Thursday, November 19th for Fort Lauderdale and then on to Port au Prince on Friday. We'll be taking four suitcases packed full of donations (mostly from neighborhood moms). Not sure if we'll post again before we leave and, as always, it may take us a few days to "reenter" the world and get back online. We'll let you know how it all goes! Thanks to everyone for their thoughts, good vibes, prayers, and love.

Another Setback

2009-10-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

I am not even sure what the tone of this update should be- anger? devastation? disbelief? When we first saw Stanley's picture 14 months ago, we dreamed of raising our baby son, then we came to grips that he would likely be walking and talking by the time he came home, and now, we wonder if and when he'll ever make it home. Basically, the Director of IBESR, the stage we have been stuck in and waiting for dispensation from, has stated that she will not be referring any cases for dispensation that don't meet the age requirement (35 or older), which we don't. So, we can't move on and get the signatures we need to bring Stanley home. Our agency director explained that they will continue to plead our case but we may be asked to make a personal plea when we travel in November to the director herself! I actually would welcome that opportunity- it would finally feel like we were doing something, rather than sitting and waiting. I am not good at being a passive participant. We are terrified that neither option will work, and then- where are we? Do we let Stanley sit in an orphanage for 4 years until we turn 35? Do we somehow accept that he would be better off if another family pursued him? As Michael and I walked around town crying last night, we felt such a familiar panic. It felt like someone had just told us that Blake wasn't coming home again. I don't know if we have it in us to fight again. Part of the draw to adopting internationally was that we would not be "pleading our case" or selling ourselves like with domestic adoption- and here we are, gearing up to try to convince yet one more person that we are worthy enough to be parents to our child. Of course, we have it in us. Of course we will fight for Stanley. In the meantime, we wait. And, it sucks.

Trip and updates!

2009-10-04T19:18:00.001-07:00

Anyone who has been following our journey knows that we have been waiting since January to get out of a stage of the adoption process called IBESR. This stage was expected to take 4 months or so and until last week we hadn't heard anything about our case. As expected, we got word that our file will require presidential dispensation because we don't fit the criteria (age 35, married for 10 years) that is legally required for adoptive families. While we are happy to at least know that our file isn't stuck on a shelf somewhere, we have NO idea how long the presidential dispensation process is going to take. One day, we will just get a call that it is out. It could be tomorrow or it could be 6 months from now.

We just got word that some good friends of ours are out of IBESR and while we couldn't be happier for them, it is another reminder of how arbitrary the process is! Their file didn't require presidential dispensation even though they have been married even fewer years than we have.

On another note, we found out that instead of joining our agency on a large group trip in December, we will be traveling with 2 or 3 other families in November to visit our kids. I guess there were too many families to travel at once on this trip. No surprise as families like us have been waiting for our children for much longer than anticipated.

I have never felt comfortable asking people to help fund the adoption or the trips (although I completely understand why so many families need to do that!!!). Instead, we figure that we will ask people to help us bring donations to the orphanage when we go. If you are interested in donating items for us to bring down, let us know!

More later...

Another trip is planned!

2009-09-22T18:05:00.000-07:00

The latest pictures of Stanley show that he is getting bigger and seems to be walking around great! He looks healthy and happy and it seems as if he is still staying at the orphanage director's house, rather than the orphanage in Les Caye. I still don't know why he was moved, but I am not complaining- I know that the environment of her home has to be better than PAC.

When we began this journey in August 2008, we thought we'd visit and meet Stanley and then we'd travel again a few months later to pick him up. Now, as we get ready to make the third "visit" trip to see our little guy, the wait is really weighing on us. We are struggling to process all that we are missing in our little guy's life. He is walking and no doubt, talking. We have just learned that our next trip will be sometime during the beginning of December. We are so excited to learn that instead of treking down to Les Caye, where the orphanage is, we will be staying in a hotel outside of Port au Prince with the kiddos! That means less travel (and traveling costs) for the parents and more time with Stanley. Apparently, this hotel is a bit nicer too.

We still have NO news about the status of his file. We have yet to exit IBESR. We try desperately, like all the parents out there, not to obsess over why some files are moving and ours hasn't. We don't even know if we need dispensation yet. Our agency coordinator assures us that after a very slow summer at IBESR, the director is back at work and she sounds hopeful that we will hear news soon.

It is starting to sink in that we will probably miss his second birthday (in April). At this point, it is taking approximately 6 months from the time you exit IBESR and we would have to exit very soon for him to be home by April. After 4 years of trying to build a family and 13 months of trying to bring him home, I am getting tired of saying "by this time next year" and not really believing it. We also now have to go through the process of updating our homestudy, getting refingerprinted, etc. because those documents will be expired before he comes home. The added costs are really just a kick in the teeth because they are a reminder that this is taking WAY longer than we had planned.

One thing we can do to help us during the wait, it to begin collecting goodies to bring to the orphanage. This time around, we have decided to try to get most of it donated so that we can keep our costs down. As always, we are collecting:

* Size 2 & 3 diapers
* Peanut butter; beef jerkey; other high-fat foods
* Baby formula
* gently used shoes- especially for toddlers learning to walk!
* Infant/toddler toys- especially those that don't require batteries
* gently used bouncy seats/Bumbo seats/playmats

As the trip dates near, I'm sure we'll want to go stock up on things to fill every space in the suitcase, so if anyone would rather give us shopping money, that is great too!

Hopefully, our next update will be an exciting one!

ANOTHER new post!

2009-08-19T18:48:00.000-07:00

Well, after weeks and weeks of nothing to report, I am writing with another update. I am so so happy to report that our agency coordinator just called with some news about stanley. We had been so worried about his health and lack of weight gain. She told me that as per the orphanage director (Marie), herself, he now weighs 22 lbs! Also, apparently, he has been staying at Marie's house in Port au Prince (Marie always has a few kids at her place) rather than in the large orphanage in Les Caye. Our coordinator wasn't entirely sure why but one thing we know is that the kids get more one-on-one care when they stay at Marie's house. It is so wonderful to imagine him in her home rather than in the crowded infant room at PAC. I guess this doesn't sound too exciting to any one else but to us, we get to go to sleep tonight picturing him sleeping safely and soundly in a bed in a house and getting some attention. Most nights, I lay awake wondering if anyone even hears him cry or kisses him good night. She also sent another picture and our official IBESR file number (which for some reason, we never got). It is just a number and since the files don't come out sequentially, it is probably arbitrary. But again, we are holding on to whatever we can.

sorry its been so long...

2009-08-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

I know its been a while since we've written. Mostly that is because there is NOTHING TO REPORT! Unfortunately, we have not received word on our file. We have friends whose files have entered and exited IBESR since we've been in and know at least one family who has been in IBESR since last August! We have yet to hear if we have even been sent for Presidential Dispensation yet. All this time, Stanley is not home and our paperwork is sitting on a desk somewhere!!!

The latest pictures that we received have us concerned- his hair appears in some of the pictures to have a bit of a reddish tint to it- a sure sign of malnutrition for black people. We are also concerned b/c it doesn't appear that he has gained any weight in the past three months. We have asked our agency coordinator to follow-up with the orphanage to get a better handle on his health. It is terrifying to wait each day for someone else to tell you if your child is healthy and then wonder if they are telling you the whole story.

We are gearing up for another visit- hopefully in October/November. We are literally dying to get the travel plans and start planning. We are, once again, beginning the process of collecting stuff to take with us. We know that the children have some things that they always need:

* Toys for toddlers/babies
* Formula
* Diapers- especially size 3
* shoes- especially for toddlers just learning to walk!
* over-the-counter medicine
* high fat foods (peanut butter, beef jerkey, etc.)

We are thinking about setting up a paypal account so that people can donate money for us to buy stuff for the trip. I'll update on that as soon as possible.

In the meantime, we celebrate with our friends Kendra and John, who are bringing home their two boys next month from Haiti and to all the other families who are that much closer to being complete. Please keep little Stanley (and his damn file!) in your thoughts and prayers!

Birth Parent Interview!

2009-06-24T07:58:00.001-07:00

A small victory but that is what we live for these days... Last week, Stanley's birthmother went to the US embassy and had an official interview, which is basically her last step in the process. I can't help but feel for her as I cannot imagine her sense of loss. This step was part of the U.S. immigration requirements and doesn't really change our timeline at all but it is still one more thing to cross off the list!

We are also celebrating the exciting news that one of our dear friends, Donna, mom to Stanley's best bud in Haiti, Evans, just found out that her file has exited IBESR! This is a MAJOR step forward and hopefully, it means that he will be coming home before Christmas. Unfortunately, it also reminds us that we will likely be waiting for an indefinate amount of time- Evans' file was submitted 2 months after ours but didn't need the dispensation that we described in an earlier post. We have yet to receive word if we have even entered that dispensation process, which is adding at least three months to the timeline! Feeling desperate and down today as we wait for any word.

We do have a new picture to share with you! We have signed up for a monthly service in which this woman, named Granny Bin, visits with Stanley for a hour or so and sends us updated pictures and measurements. Unfortunately, he looked pretty unhappy in many of the shots. He is a bit wary of strangers at this point... Check out the hair do...

We're back!

2009-05-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

Finally, almost two weeks after we got back, I have the energy to write about our trip. This time, it has been much harder to return to "life as usual" and compartmentalize our grief over being apart from our son. I wake up thinking of him, think about him most of the day, and fall asleep dreaming of him. I am obsessed with checking my email and phone- hoping for good news that his file is out of IBESR, although I know it is unlikely. Just before we left for Haiti, we got word that we will likely be referred for something called a Presidential Dispensation (pardon) for the age requirement (officially 35-50 years old for adoptive parents). This requirement has largely been waived in recent years but the new Director of IBESR has reinstated this stage, adding unknown months to the process. We are trying to prepare ourselves for the reality that he will not be home in 2009. We had hoped this last visit was our last "visit" and that our next trip to Haiti would be to bring him home. For more information about the process and what is happening with Haiti adoptions, check out http://allforchildrenhaiti.blogspot.com/2009/05/haitian-adoption-process.html About the trip... It was, of course, amazing to be with him again! Stanley has grown (although not as much as we expected) and seems to be doing well. He was sick for the first day or two we were there and I began to panic that he was sick and noone was there to take care of him. We started to wonder if that is why is was so skinny and if he hadn't gotten markedly better by the time we left, I am sure I would be a basketcase right now! He did get better and his little personality came right back! He is trying to walk and is still a great snuggler!!! We've added some pictures and videos to the blog so you can check it out for yourself... Traveling to Haiti is always an adventure and this time, we got to ride in a pink bus tricked out with portraits of jesus, a small charter plane and a tap tap (which is basically a pickup truck with people jammed into the back. They call it a "tap tap" because you can tap the sides to get on and off when traveling in the cities. When we arrived at the orphanage, Stanley was a little unsure of us and we spent a few hours just holding him and letting him get used to us again. Although we had been cautioned that he may not feel comfortable coming back to the hotel with us again, we did bring him back with us and it was there where we knew he felt at home. He LOVES sleeping with his daddy and I snapped lots of photos of the two of them sound asleep in our dinky little hotel room. Speaking of hotel rooms... ours was much smaller than our last trip and this time without a fridge, with a faulty light switch and an easily clogged toilet. We spent the first day at the orphanage and watched as families reunited or met their children for the first time. The whole day seemed surreal because we were less overwhelmed at the conditions, less devastated by the sight of the families we met who were dropping off their children at the orphanage, but our hearts ached more because we knew how hard leaving was going to be.

Finally- some news!!!

2009-04-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

We are so happy to be able to post with some news! Besides being over the moon about getting to visit Stanley this upcoming weekend (!!!), we got some good news this week. During our last trip, we had planned on signing something called a I-600; however, right before we left, we learned that our agency coordinator was recommending having Stanley's DNA test completed before we sign because it would expedite the process at the end. While disapointed, we were assured that this would not add any time to the complete process. Well, since December, there have been many many attempts to get the test done. Stanley's birthmother needed to be present and they had to track her down and get the two of them in Port Au Prince at the same time, schedule an appointment, and hope that the government labs didn't decide to close on that day. Long story short, after four months of waiting to hear that it was done- we got word on Friday that it is! Basically, if all goes well, we will be able to sign next Tuesday at 11 AM. Another step down.

As far as IBESR (the long stage of the process we are in), we got word that Haiti's social services was in the final stages of processing our file. We were asked to send a supplemental letter clarifying our relationship length so we are hopeful that what we sent them suffices. IF we can get out of this stage soon, it is approximately another 6 months until Stanley can come home, BUT at least we will be on our way. So, fingers crossed we get some more good news soon!

As for our trip, we fly to Fort Lauderdale on Friday night and on to Port Au Prince on Saturday morning. Our group is chartering a plane to Les Caye (where the orphanage is) on Saturday and will return to PAP on Tuesday morning (in time for our signing appointment). That means only 2 1/2 days with our little guy but we can't wait!!!

Thanks to those of you who have offered to send stuff down with us for the orphanage- we finally got a list of their latest needs. We don't ever expect people to contribute but if you are interested, let us know. Or, if you want to send us a check, we'll make sure to buy good stuff on your behalf.... As of now, the orphanage is very low on:
* over the counter meds
* cloth diapers
* flip flops
* baby wipes
* peanut butter
* canned meat
* school supplies
* picture books with simple English
* lotion
* hair accessories for girls
* vitamins
* crib sheets
* toys for the babies
* twin bed sheets

Again, please DO NOT feel obligated to do anything! We'll be doing our major shopping Wednesday night.

I'm sure when we get back next Tuesday night, we'll need a few days to decompress and then we'll be sure to upload new pictures! Thanks for following this journey!

Trip #2 is scheduled!!!

2009-03-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

We have just booked our flights to go see Stanley the first weekend in May! We are so excited to get our hands on him again! We can't imagine how big he has gotten- how many things we have already missed. Is he walking? Is he talking? Its so strange not to know the answers to those questions.

We also got some interesting news regarding the stage our file is in right now (IBESR). Some of the families are moving through the process in record time but others (primarily those with biological children at home) are being held up for another set of signatures. One family has been waiting in IBESR (normally 2-6 months) for almost 10 months! We are hoping that we are put in the fast track pile but have no idea if we are or whether or not we'll find out. Also, we had hoped to sign what is known as our I600s when we travel but we are still waiting on the DNA tests on his birthmother (to verify her identify and right to place him for adoption). Apparently, having the DNA tests done prior to the signing of the I600 will make things go smoother at the tail end of this whole process. This is supposedly being done in the next two weeks but, as with all things in Haiti, we will just have to wait and see. We are not good at waiting.

Something we can control is what we bring with us again! Last time, we filled up all 4 suitcases with donations for the orphanage and crammed our stuff into backpacks. We are going to try to do the same thing again. I'm waiting to hear what the greatest needs are right now but formula, hygiene products, over the counter medicine, and educational toys are always in need. PLEASE do not feel like you need to buy anything but lots of people have asked me how they can help. Some people have also asked if they can make donations to the orphanage. I think I would feel more comfortable if we took any collected money and purchased some stuff to take down there rather than traveling with lots of cash.

Lastly, Stanley's 1st birthday is coming up on March 9th. Unlike most little boys, he won't get to spend it surrounded by his family and friends. Try to remember to send him some happy thoughts on his special day. Hopefully, he will be able to feel all the love that we are sending his way!

IBESR!

2009-01-27T09:56:00.000-08:00

Finally, we have something else to report! We just received word that Stanley's file has been officially entered into IBESR- Haiti's Social Services Dept. This is the longest stage of the process (averaging around 2-6 months). When our file gets out of IBESR, we'll have a much better idea of the timeline. The first stage is averaging 8-10 weeks right now and we were out in 8 so we are encouraged. The next few months might be some of the longest- b/c it will feel like nothing is happening.

As for our trip in March- our agency has decided to postpone the trip until April or May so we don't know details yet. We are obviously disapointed that we have to wait even longer to see Stanley again and crushed that we will be missing his first birthday- on March 9th! We had gotten our hopes up that we wouldn't miss this milestone. Somehow, the part of the journey that hurts seems to change daily. Right now, we are angry that we can't be with him on his birthday, on other days, we worry about his health. Sometimes, hours go by when we don't think or talk about Stanley and then there is the guilt that comes with that.

Thanks to everyone who has offered to donate something for PAC, we'll keep you posted as the trip gets closer. For now, we celebrate the small victories!!!

We're Home!!!

2008-12-17T14:41:00.000-08:00

We don't even know how to start THIS blog. We finally met our little boy and he is more precious, more perfect than we could have imagined!!! He is pretty much developmentally on track, which we found was very rare for the children in the orphanage. He sits on his own, talks (well baby talks) up a storm, plays with people and toys and sleeps like a log through the night. He has developed some sad little institutional behaviors- like sucking his thumb and rocking himself to sleep BUT, he is super engaging and LOVES snuggles. We have tons of pictures and videos and are waiting for some more from some of the people we traveled with.

A "quick" rundown of our trip...

We arrived on Friday AM to Port Au Prince airport with 16 other travelers, most of whom were also adoptive parents. We waited with our 36 bags full of supplies for almost two hours in the hot sun for our ride- in Haiti, "on time" really means "sometime between now and later." When a 14 passenger van arrived, we almost died! We somehow hired another taxi van and finally, we were off to Les Caye, where the orphanage is. I should mentione that I spent the entire ride sitting between the driver and Michael in the front seat, no seatbelt, knees tucked to my chest as we barrelled down the most pitiful roads you've ever seen listening to a broken CD that only played two Celine Dion songs over and over for FIVE hours. I keep comparing that entire ride to a jeep commercial where they show you just how sturdy the vehicle is by driving on crazy terrain. On the few paved areas, the driver just flew, honking his horn to warn the people, motorcycles holding families of five, and goats to move out of the way. It was like a real live video game! We expected poverty but we didn't realize that we'd see nothing but. For five hours, we drove past shacks, tents, and mounds and mounds of burning trash. What was perhaps most disturbing was how this was occuring in what is possibly the most geographically beautiful place I've ever been. As we drove by parents clutching their children's hands and people walking for miles with buckets of water or food on their heads, and people bathing in dirty standing water, we realized for the first time why Stanley's orphanage has a waiting list of children to get in- there are no other options for families.

Finally, we arrive at the orphanage! After being greeted by singing children, we found our way into the infant room and were handed Stanley! Immediately, he looked up with an uncanny sense of recognition with those unbelievable eyes. Within minutes, he was napping on my lap. We spent the evening at the orphanage surrounded by some of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. They swarmed us, wanting hugs, kisses and tickles! Although we couldn't understand their Creole, they were calling us "White Mommy" and "White Daddy!"

We brought Stanley back to the hotel with us wondering what our first night would be like. We didn't need to worry, he fell asleep by 10 PM and slept through the night. Like all the kids, he had a cough and was congested so he snored LOUDLY- so funny, this big sound coming out of this little baby. In the morning, we woke to see him flipping back and forth between staring at each of us. When we started to stir, he grabbed my shirt in one hand and Michael's in his other, as if to say, "Where do you think you're going?" We must have laid like that for 20-30 minutes, noone wanting the moment to end. After breakfast, we said goodbye to some of our travelmates who would spend the day at the orphanage- we decided instead to stay at the hotel and just spend time with Stanley. By the time we headed to the Christmas party at the orphanage that night, Stanley was laughing and gigling up a storm.

The Christmas party was amazing. The kids performed some carols and dances and the nannies prepared a huge feast. Our favorite moment was watching about a dozen of the older children sing a Creole Christmas carol, while the two little boys sitting on Michael's lap sang along. On my lap, Stanley tried to join in- on the video, it is hard to hear the singers over Stanley's shouts of "Gaaaaaaaa...." Something that was almost unbearable was that there were parents who brought children to the orphanage for the sole purpose of trying to "market" them to the visitors. These are parents who want desperately to give their children a better life. One father, Peter, tried desperately to show us how lovely his two daughters are. The orphanage is full so while the girls wait to be placed, they will remain with him. Before this trip, it was hard to imagine a place where this makes sense.

On Sunday, we spent the day at the most beautiful beach! The Simonsen family was almost left behind, as somehow the vans pulled away without us. Monica went tearing after the vans but couldn't catch up. Luckily, a vendor from the market saw her and before she could think twice, she was riding on the guy's motorcycle, flying through the streets of Les Caye! Michael looked out the window in enough time to see her fly by! The rest of the day was decidedly less dramatic. We sat outside at the beach listening to music, watching kids play soccer and men fish using wooden boats.

We are grateful that his nanny, Sylvie, is the most loving one there! Also, because he so engaging, we think he gets extra attention, which has helped him to thrive. Even still- each day, we watched Stanley get stronger and more alert. All of the babies need the one on one time with their parents, away from the orphanage. We watched another little guy, Evans, grow tremendously after 4 1/2 days with his mommy. It took four days, but his mommy caught him smiling on the last day and he began holding his own bottle! PAC is a great orphanage- but it is still an orphanage. Babies sleep 2/3 a crib in a cramped, poorly ventilated room. By the time we said our goodbyes on Monday, it felt as if Stanley has always been our son and it was awful to leave him. We are desperate to try to figure out how to go on the next trip- in March. If we can pull it off, we could spend his first birthday with him! Another milestone that adoptive parents don't take for granted. Luckily, when we return, we will be traveling with the other families, some of whom will now be friends for life.

We have added some pictures but have MANY more if anyone wants to indulge us... Also, check out the videos below this posting- you can hear his giggles! Sorry this post was SO LONG but we wanted to give you a taste of trip! Thanks for rooting Stanley on!

In two days!!!

2008-12-09T18:54:00.000-08:00

We are counting down until Thursday night when we finally set off to meet Stanley! We fly to Ft. Lauderdale and then on to Port Au Prince Friday morning. We found out that we could bring more stuff with us than we thought, so after some scrambling, we scored a few play mats, two walkers, and a Bugaboo chair (to help little ones sit upright). Not sure how, but we managed to squeeze all of that, along with another bouncy seat, lots of presents, clothes and diapers for Stanley, loads of stuff Aunt Julie collected from her students in Connecticut, and our stuff into 4 bags. We found out that Stanley will be staying with us for the whole time we are there! We were told to make sure we brought warm jammies b/c he won't be used to the air conditioning. :)

We got some good news and some bad news about the trip. Turns out we will hopefully be spending an extra day with Stanley. The bad news is that it is because we will not be filing any paperwork in PAP that day. There have been some problems with a few U.S. families being denied visas even after they have been through the whole process because the U.S. is not convinced that the child is an orphan. The best way to circumvent this issue is to have DNA tests on the child and birthmother before you apply. As far as we know, Stanley's mother had her DNA test yesterday and Stanley will have his when he comes to PAP with us on Monday. The results are sent back to the U.S. for processing, which takes a few weeks. So, we'll have to file this paperwork back in the U.S., which takes longer. However, it certainly beats running into problems in the end. There is one family that is adopting from Stanley's orphanage who thought they were ready to bring their child home 6 months ago and the U.S. is denying the visa and they can't find the birthmother anymore to do a DNA test. So, we are grateful that this is being taken care of now. It would have been nice to cross something off the list though! Our coodinator says this shouldn't have any real impact on our final timeline- which is, as we said, about a year.

Anyway, we won't have much (if any) access to phone/email while we are there but just as soon as we are back, we'll post pictures and updates!

It's for real!!!

2008-11-15T02:08:00.000-08:00

Typing this at 5 AM b/c I can't sleep- I'm so excited! We have just received Stanley's official referral! Basically, this means that the Haitian government (not just our agency) is aware that we are working towards adopting Stanley and we are the only family allowed to adopt him. For families working to adopt from other countries, the referral is a sign that things are moving along- in Haiti, the real work is just beginning. Still, very exciting! We also found out his birthdate for the first time- he was born on March 9th. Starting to seem real....

Trip to Haiti!!!!

2008-11-06T15:34:00.001-08:00

Well, we are only 5 weeks away from getting to meet the man of the hour. We can hardly believe it! We leave on December 11th for Ft. Lauderdale and then fly to Port Au Prince the next morning. Thank you to those of you who have offered to send us things to bring to the orphanage. We have an updated list of their current needs: powdered formula (both soy and regular), clothe diapers and plastic pants, and crib sheets (most of the childrens beds have mattresses about that size). We have also decided to bring some new undies (b/c somethings just shouldn't be handed down) and some Xmas toys for the kids (especially Stanley!). Of course, packing space will be at a premium. If you want us to take some goodies down for you (thank you!), please just let us know. We will try to collect everything by December 5th so we can pack it all up!

We hope to make multiple trips to Haiti with Stanley over the years, so don't feel pressured to gather things for this trip- we just know there are a few certain grandparents out there who are ready to spoil Stanley and his friends...

Good news/Icky news

2008-10-29T17:05:00.001-07:00

For anyone who knew how crazy we were to get all of our immigration paperwork in this month- we have great news! We were told that it could take a few months to process and approve our application. Our goal was to get our I-600 A (application to adopt internationally) approved and get our I-797C (basically your approval letter) back in time for our trip. We have an appointment scheduled in Port Au Prince on December 16th to file another round of paperwork but we needed this form back. Well... in an amazing feet of U.S. government efficiency, we received teh I-797C last week! We noticed that the original had been sent to the central processing center in New Hampshire, not Port Au Prince, as we requested. Ah hah! This is where it goes wrong, right? Well, a few quick phone calls later and we find out that the form has indeed been forwarded to PAP and in record time!

As for the dossier that is being translated to be sent to Haiti- that is taking much longer than we anticipated. Apparently, the translator was backed up- not exactly a great sign. Hopefully, the documents will be sent to PAP next week and the Haitian part of the process can begin.

We've had lots of questions about "why this takes so long" so we figured we'd try to give everyone an idea-

The Adoption Process
Minister of Foreign Affairs (MFA)
2-14 weeks
First Legalization (1st Legal). This is where all of the papers are authenticated.

File prepared for IBESR (Concurrent with MFA)
1-4 weeks
When the paperwork is at Foreign Affairs, the lawyers prepare your file for IBESR. IBESR requires that the paperwork be in a certain order. The child's social history and psychological examination required by IBESR for your child must be made during this period. It involves putting the child's social information into a home study format with your home study information.

IBESR
2-6 months
Your child's paperwork is put together with your documents and the file is then presented to IBESR (Haiti's Social Service Department) where a social worker will look over all of your documents and decide whether to approve your adoption request.The director of IBESR, the IBESR lawyer, the head of adoption services at IBESR, and the IBESR social worker must all sign off on your dossier. This is four stages of approval.

Parquet
2-12 weeks
This step involves asking all of the birth parents to come for interviews to make sure that they understand that there children are being adopted. Apparently there was some fraudulent activity going on and he wants to protect the birth parents interests. i.e. make sure they are in agreement.

Civil Court Legalization
2-8 weeks
The adoption is finalized. After this point, the children are legally yours. (2nd Legal)

Minister of Interior Affairs (MOI)/Haitian Immigration
5-20 weeks
The file is submitted to three levels of approval and reviewed for accuracy. Upon completion, the file is submitted to the passport process. The passports are printed in the adopting parents last name.

DHS Processing (U.S. Parents)
1-3 weeks
I-600 is filed by adopting parents. File is reviewed and approved by DHS

DNA Testing
0-6 weeks
May or may not be necessary. Depends on DHS' opinion.

Consulate/Visa Appointment
1 week lead
Child receives visa in preparation for travel to their new home
time

Dossier complete!

2008-10-11T14:44:00.001-07:00

Another major milestone! After an insane few weeks, we are officially finished our dossier and filed our immigration paperwork. A dossier is basically a big application package that we send to Haiti's social services. We had to collect medical/psychological reports, criminal background checks, CPS clearances, reference letters, bank statements, employment verifications, etc. All of these documents had to be notarized and then authenticated twice- once in the county in which the respective notary was commissioned and then again in Annapolis by the office of Secretary of the State. The process was not without a few hiccups. Our bank refused to generate a notarized letter in the state of Maryland so we had to figure out how to get the Texas notarized document to a circuit court in Austin... Somehow, amazingly, family friends who live in Austin were coming to town this past week so, after chasing the FedEx truck down I-95 because we missed the last drop box, the letter was overnighted to their house in Austin. Thank you to Chuck and Dianna for running this very important errand for us! We are grateful to the Francis family (Pat, Ray, and Alyssa) who took scenic tours of Maryland trying to hit each of the circuit courts. Thanks to our resourceful and connected friends Terry and Leslie for working to make sure our documents were tracked down and fast tracked. Brenda and Wim- thank you for meeting with us on such short notice! Thank you to Angie, Debbie, Leslie, and Christine for the beautiful letters of recommendation. And lastly, Gary, thanks for letting me take your car when at the last minute ours wouldn't start with an hour to go before the documents were due in Annapolis!

We never imagined that our path to parenthood would include so much paperwork, a car chase on 95, a dead car battery, so many tears, or such a team effort. Stanley is a lucky little man.

We're going to Haiti!!!

2008-10-01T18:05:00.000-07:00

It's official! Tonight we booked our flights to/from Haiti in December. We flight out of Fort Lauderdale on the 12th and return on the 16th. We will only have 3 1/2 days to spend with Stanley but we CAN'T wait! Here is an excerpt from the email from Stephanie (our coordinator) about our plans for the weekend...

We will be going down on December 12th and returning on the 16th. This trip will serve a few different purposes. First, many of you adoptive families will be signing your I600’s while we are in Haiti... Our schedule will look something like this: December 12th—arrive in Haiti in the AM. Get to van waiting for us and drive straight to Les Caye... Arrive in Les Caye on that Friday afternoon. December 13th—spend time with the children. Take children swimming. Visit city center, etc. December 14th—more amazing time with the children....We will be having a Christmas celebration with the kids over the weekend. We’ll talk more about that as it gets closer. How fun right?

I'm sure as the trip gets closer, we'll have more details to share! Check out the new pictures we received...

Just getting started

2008-09-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

We aren't really so sure what we think about this blogging thing- I mean, who wants to read what we have to say? But, we are so excited to share our newest adventure with our friends and family (along with the people we will meet along the way...)- we are officially adopting a little boy from Haiti! After what has been a long, difficult road to making this decision, we feel an enormous sense of peace and excitement in knowing that our son is out there, waiting for us to bring him home. So, here is the story- After coming home without our Blake this spring, Monica began looking on photolistings (for those of you who don't know, there are actual websites with photos of children who are available for adoption) and came across this picture of a special little guy named Eli. He looked so much like Blake as a newborn that we think we convinced ourselves that we were meant to find him. Perhaps we needed to make sense of what had happened. After realizing that we were rushing into a big decision, we decided not to pursue Eli. We did, however, keep in touch with Stephanie, the woman who worked for the agency in charge of his adoption. We knew she was going to Haiti in August and after a particularly difficult week, Monica randomly sent her an email. She said she had new photos of a baby boy at an orphanage in Port au Prince. The minute we opened our inbox, we knew we had to bring him home! Still struggling to make sense of the loss of our Blake, we wondered how we could take another chance- risk heartbreak again (international adoption is not exactly a sure thing either!) but the truth is, we don't really have a choice. How can we not try to bring him home? Take one look at his big brown eyes and you'll see!

Here's what we've done so far- we have taken the steps needed to update our homestudy and convert it to an international one (different requirements). We have started gathering the millions of documents that we need (physical, psych exam, employment verification, etc.). Everything has to be notarized and then we have to take all of the notarized documents to the county in which the notaries are commissioned to authenticate their commision. THEN, all of the documents have to be taken to Annapolis for another level of authorization. We are hoping to get the last of the documents notarized and authenticated by October 9th. Then, we'll send it all to get translated into French (the official language of Haiti, even though most of the residents speak Creole). We'll explain more about the process later.

The other GREAT news is that we are planning to travel to meet our little guy in December! We'll travel to Haiti and spend four days with him while filing one set of paperwork in Port au Prince. Details later...