Citizen Stanley!

As the holidays get closer, we can't help but be overwhelmed by how different our lives are than last year. Last year at this time, we had just returned from a pretty traumatic visit with Stanley. Mike, Stanley and I all sobbed as we said goodbye and we had NO idea when he would be home. We struggled to enjoy our first holiday with Dane all the while feeling guilty that Stanley was all alone. Watching other toddlers take pictures with Santa and even our nephew open his gifts on Christmas morning were cruel reminders that Stanley was not home. A year later, we will have two toddlers racing down the stairs to see what Santa brought them, two kids to cuddle on the couch with, and a whole new family of friends that have shared this journey with us. At the same time, we are completely aware that although Stanley is home, and in part, because of the earthquake, the same earthquake is the reason so many other people are not with their families this year.

Now that we are busy living this crazy life, we haven't been writing as much. Thanks to those of you who have written to see how we are doing. We forget how invested so many people were in helping us bring him home. Just this weekend, I crashed my sister-in-law's book-club. There were a few people I had never met and naturally the conversation turned to children- although, as often happens, they all knew all about our family. Lots of people we didn't know or had lost touch with over the years wrote letters or prayed for us- and it is only now becoming clear that we haven't really been able to thank them.

Since our last post, Stanley became a U.S. citizen!!!! , starting preschool, and we've moved! Stanley is talking up a storm, running around like a typical two-year old, and being a really good big brother.

Adoption Decree!!!

We just found out that our agency coordinator has received the copy of our adoption decree from Haiti! Basically, that means that it is over- he is legally our son! We are going to readopt him in Maryland so that we can get a U.S. birth certificate and we still need to file for his citizenship but those are simply formalities!

Stanley's buddies have shelter!

Just a quick note to say THANK YOU to everyone who gave generously in the days and weeks after the earthquake- we started the fund for Stanley's orphanage- hoping to bring emergency supplies directly to the kids and to help sustain the organization after the wave of initial support waned. We sent some of the funds directly to the orphanage director to help with immediate needs but wanted to find a project to take on. Although many of the children had been matched with families prior to the earthquake and have been brought to the U.S. under Humanitarian Parole (or to other countries with similiar international agreements with Haiti), there are still children left behind. These kids are still sleeping outside because of their fear of the building collapsing. It has been hard to ascertain whether this is a real possibility- I mean, we have no way of knowing how structuraly sound the building is. The generator has been sent to the capital to help the director maintain energy so she can continue to work (and process adoption paperwork). This leaves spotty electricity so there is no way to keep food and medicine cold (and safe). After LOTS of logistics (mostly handled by our good friend Donna!), the fund purchased and shipped a 50 person tent that is being set up today- I am waiting to see pictures!!! The rest of the existing funds will be targeted at filling a shipping container with whatever supplies are most important, and, we hope one or two medical professionals. We'll keep you posted!

Stanley Video Montage

Stanley's aunties made him this video for his 2nd bday! Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Stanley!!!

Stanley is two years old today! We are so so grateful he is home to celebrate! The sun is shining, its opening day for the Orioles, and its Friday! Today is a very good day! Life is good.

Huge news!!!

Quick update- just received word that our Orphanage Director has received our final adoption decree (which means we exited Parquet!). To put this in perspective- the children who were at this stage when the earthquake hit, came home with finalized adoptions- we are very very close! This will make it much easier to apply for Stanley's citizenship!

Lots to update but busy living our lives as a crazy family of four- will write more this week...

More on the journey home...

Ok, I know it has been more than a month since I posted last- and once again, it was someone else prompting me to update the blog... so, let's see- when I left off last time, Michael and Stanley were on a flight to Orlando. I have to mention that although we were obviously ecstatic that Stanley and a few of his buddies were coming home, it was gut wrenching to know that most of the children were not coming back on that flight. At that point, we weren't sure if this was going to be the last wave of children to come home for a while. One of our dear friends in particular, whose husband was in Haiti with Michael, and who had been working around the clock like we had on behalf of all of the families, was heartbroken and I honestly didn't know what to say to her. I knew that there were some families who thought it was suspicious that Michael was there and Stanley was on this list- as if he had somehow influenced the process. For those of you who don't know us very well- Michael and I had a very difficult failed domestic adoption two years ago- the birthmother of our first son changed her mind after a few weeks. I know what it is like to come home without your child and the thought that these families- friends- would be going through that was unbearable. We vowed to try to continue to work on behalf of all of the children. Our middle of the night drive from Ft. Lauderdale to Orlando involved a low gas tank, a missed exit, backing up the highway, and getting pulled over! After taking one look at my friend and I and hearing our pitiful story, the officier actually gave us a police escort to the gas station!

We arrived at the airport to learn that the children had landed safely!!!! We were told that we would not be allowed in customs and that we should come back at 1 or 2 PM to fill out some paperwork. Crushed (and a little disapointed that we hadn't taken the time to pack our bags and check out of the hotel...), we decided to head to a hotel for the night. Moments later, we got a call that a nice security guard was going to allow us to come back to see the children (but only for a minute)! As we walked through the gates, we saw what looked like a hundred children laying on blankets in a big roped off area. Frantically, we scanned for our babies- and I saw Michael- and Stanley. He was sleeping (it was about 4 AM). This was it- this was that moment that I'd been preparing for 1 1/2 years. I found out later that one of the other fathers captured that moment in a picture so I've included it. Can you see all the children in the background? Looks chaotic, right? While our orphanage only had 7 children and three escorts, there were two other very large groups with almost 100 children- and very few adults. Somehow, nobody came back to escort me out and I was able to stay with the kids until our paperwork was processed- which was not until 10 PM! Yep, we sat in that room with all of those sick and tired children for another 18 hours!

Volunteers brought food and diapers but the time just dragged. The children had to be individually fingerprinted and then their files reviewed by Customs Officiers. AFTER all of the children had been processed through customs, those of us that were in Category II (Humanitarian Parole) had to go through another file review by the Department of Health and Human Services- this is because under Humanitarian Parole, the kids are actually being released to foster parents (us). Regardless, the process was long and arduous and after three days of no sleep and unbelievable stress, I started to go a little crazy. I remember feeling like we were being held hostage! I think I actually said to Michael at some point, "they can't do this, we are American citizens!" Throughout the day, they kept saying that some of the children would be flown to Miami for processing but wouldn't tell us which ones- I couldn't stop thinking of the other families who, like us, had just driven for hours to Orlando- and now, we might have to go back??? After that crazy wait, it was over. They called our names. We answered a few questions and signed a few forms. Then it was over- almost! We were stopped on our way out and asked if we had our I-94 receipt. Our what? We showed the officer our paperwork and he replied, "Oh no, you need that receipt!" After about 30-40 minutes of searching, someone else appeared with the receipt and we were finally on our way. I felt like running- as in- "please nobody else stop us..." As we walked out of customs, we handed Stanley an American flag and a Haitian flag. He looked so happy and content. We knew how he felt.

We stayed in a nice hotel that night (I'm sure we were a sight when we checked in!). Stanley slept between us in a very comfty bed- probably his first in weeks. We made a few calls, ordered some food, and enjoyed our first night as a family. The rest of the journey home was rather uneventful. A nice flight attendant presented Stanley with a certificate from the Pilot of our flight to BWI that says "Stanley's first flight" (nevermind he flew from PAP to Orlando) and the captain said "Welcome Home Stanley" on the intercom.

All of this seems so long ago at this point. Now, life is full of packing lunches and diaper bags, walks in the park, bedtime stories, really great hugs and kisses, and so many "firsts." I will write more soon (I promise) about how that is going- but, we continue to be amazed at Stanley's resiliency and Dane's acceptance of his new brother. The two of them are so fun together.