We're Home!!!

We don't even know how to start THIS blog. We finally met our little boy and he is more precious, more perfect than we could have imagined!!! He is pretty much developmentally on track, which we found was very rare for the children in the orphanage. He sits on his own, talks (well baby talks) up a storm, plays with people and toys and sleeps like a log through the night. He has developed some sad little institutional behaviors- like sucking his thumb and rocking himself to sleep BUT, he is super engaging and LOVES snuggles. We have tons of pictures and videos and are waiting for some more from some of the people we traveled with.

A "quick" rundown of our trip...

We arrived on Friday AM to Port Au Prince airport with 16 other travelers, most of whom were also adoptive parents. We waited with our 36 bags full of supplies for almost two hours in the hot sun for our ride- in Haiti, "on time" really means "sometime between now and later." When a 14 passenger van arrived, we almost died! We somehow hired another taxi van and finally, we were off to Les Caye, where the orphanage is. I should mentione that I spent the entire ride sitting between the driver and Michael in the front seat, no seatbelt, knees tucked to my chest as we barrelled down the most pitiful roads you've ever seen listening to a broken CD that only played two Celine Dion songs over and over for FIVE hours. I keep comparing that entire ride to a jeep commercial where they show you just how sturdy the vehicle is by driving on crazy terrain. On the few paved areas, the driver just flew, honking his horn to warn the people, motorcycles holding families of five, and goats to move out of the way. It was like a real live video game! We expected poverty but we didn't realize that we'd see nothing but. For five hours, we drove past shacks, tents, and mounds and mounds of burning trash. What was perhaps most disturbing was how this was occuring in what is possibly the most geographically beautiful place I've ever been. As we drove by parents clutching their children's hands and people walking for miles with buckets of water or food on their heads, and people bathing in dirty standing water, we realized for the first time why Stanley's orphanage has a waiting list of children to get in- there are no other options for families.

Finally, we arrive at the orphanage! After being greeted by singing children, we found our way into the infant room and were handed Stanley! Immediately, he looked up with an uncanny sense of recognition with those unbelievable eyes. Within minutes, he was napping on my lap. We spent the evening at the orphanage surrounded by some of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. They swarmed us, wanting hugs, kisses and tickles! Although we couldn't understand their Creole, they were calling us "White Mommy" and "White Daddy!"

We brought Stanley back to the hotel with us wondering what our first night would be like. We didn't need to worry, he fell asleep by 10 PM and slept through the night. Like all the kids, he had a cough and was congested so he snored LOUDLY- so funny, this big sound coming out of this little baby. In the morning, we woke to see him flipping back and forth between staring at each of us. When we started to stir, he grabbed my shirt in one hand and Michael's in his other, as if to say, "Where do you think you're going?" We must have laid like that for 20-30 minutes, noone wanting the moment to end. After breakfast, we said goodbye to some of our travelmates who would spend the day at the orphanage- we decided instead to stay at the hotel and just spend time with Stanley. By the time we headed to the Christmas party at the orphanage that night, Stanley was laughing and gigling up a storm.

The Christmas party was amazing. The kids performed some carols and dances and the nannies prepared a huge feast. Our favorite moment was watching about a dozen of the older children sing a Creole Christmas carol, while the two little boys sitting on Michael's lap sang along. On my lap, Stanley tried to join in- on the video, it is hard to hear the singers over Stanley's shouts of "Gaaaaaaaa...." Something that was almost unbearable was that there were parents who brought children to the orphanage for the sole purpose of trying to "market" them to the visitors. These are parents who want desperately to give their children a better life. One father, Peter, tried desperately to show us how lovely his two daughters are. The orphanage is full so while the girls wait to be placed, they will remain with him. Before this trip, it was hard to imagine a place where this makes sense.

On Sunday, we spent the day at the most beautiful beach! The Simonsen family was almost left behind, as somehow the vans pulled away without us. Monica went tearing after the vans but couldn't catch up. Luckily, a vendor from the market saw her and before she could think twice, she was riding on the guy's motorcycle, flying through the streets of Les Caye! Michael looked out the window in enough time to see her fly by! The rest of the day was decidedly less dramatic. We sat outside at the beach listening to music, watching kids play soccer and men fish using wooden boats.

We are grateful that his nanny, Sylvie, is the most loving one there! Also, because he so engaging, we think he gets extra attention, which has helped him to thrive. Even still- each day, we watched Stanley get stronger and more alert. All of the babies need the one on one time with their parents, away from the orphanage. We watched another little guy, Evans, grow tremendously after 4 1/2 days with his mommy. It took four days, but his mommy caught him smiling on the last day and he began holding his own bottle! PAC is a great orphanage- but it is still an orphanage. Babies sleep 2/3 a crib in a cramped, poorly ventilated room. By the time we said our goodbyes on Monday, it felt as if Stanley has always been our son and it was awful to leave him. We are desperate to try to figure out how to go on the next trip- in March. If we can pull it off, we could spend his first birthday with him! Another milestone that adoptive parents don't take for granted. Luckily, when we return, we will be traveling with the other families, some of whom will now be friends for life.

We have added some pictures but have MANY more if anyone wants to indulge us... Also, check out the videos below this posting- you can hear his giggles! Sorry this post was SO LONG but we wanted to give you a taste of trip! Thanks for rooting Stanley on!

In two days!!!

We are counting down until Thursday night when we finally set off to meet Stanley! We fly to Ft. Lauderdale and then on to Port Au Prince Friday morning. We found out that we could bring more stuff with us than we thought, so after some scrambling, we scored a few play mats, two walkers, and a Bugaboo chair (to help little ones sit upright). Not sure how, but we managed to squeeze all of that, along with another bouncy seat, lots of presents, clothes and diapers for Stanley, loads of stuff Aunt Julie collected from her students in Connecticut, and our stuff into 4 bags. We found out that Stanley will be staying with us for the whole time we are there! We were told to make sure we brought warm jammies b/c he won't be used to the air conditioning. :)

We got some good news and some bad news about the trip. Turns out we will hopefully be spending an extra day with Stanley. The bad news is that it is because we will not be filing any paperwork in PAP that day. There have been some problems with a few U.S. families being denied visas even after they have been through the whole process because the U.S. is not convinced that the child is an orphan. The best way to circumvent this issue is to have DNA tests on the child and birthmother before you apply. As far as we know, Stanley's mother had her DNA test yesterday and Stanley will have his when he comes to PAP with us on Monday. The results are sent back to the U.S. for processing, which takes a few weeks. So, we'll have to file this paperwork back in the U.S., which takes longer. However, it certainly beats running into problems in the end. There is one family that is adopting from Stanley's orphanage who thought they were ready to bring their child home 6 months ago and the U.S. is denying the visa and they can't find the birthmother anymore to do a DNA test. So, we are grateful that this is being taken care of now. It would have been nice to cross something off the list though! Our coodinator says this shouldn't have any real impact on our final timeline- which is, as we said, about a year.

Anyway, we won't have much (if any) access to phone/email while we are there but just as soon as we are back, we'll post pictures and updates!

It's for real!!!

Typing this at 5 AM b/c I can't sleep- I'm so excited! We have just received Stanley's official referral! Basically, this means that the Haitian government (not just our agency) is aware that we are working towards adopting Stanley and we are the only family allowed to adopt him. For families working to adopt from other countries, the referral is a sign that things are moving along- in Haiti, the real work is just beginning. Still, very exciting! We also found out his birthdate for the first time- he was born on March 9th. Starting to seem real....

Trip to Haiti!!!!

Well, we are only 5 weeks away from getting to meet the man of the hour. We can hardly believe it! We leave on December 11th for Ft. Lauderdale and then fly to Port Au Prince the next morning. Thank you to those of you who have offered to send us things to bring to the orphanage. We have an updated list of their current needs: powdered formula (both soy and regular), clothe diapers and plastic pants, and crib sheets (most of the childrens beds have mattresses about that size). We have also decided to bring some new undies (b/c somethings just shouldn't be handed down) and some Xmas toys for the kids (especially Stanley!). Of course, packing space will be at a premium. If you want us to take some goodies down for you (thank you!), please just let us know. We will try to collect everything by December 5th so we can pack it all up!

We hope to make multiple trips to Haiti with Stanley over the years, so don't feel pressured to gather things for this trip- we just know there are a few certain grandparents out there who are ready to spoil Stanley and his friends...

Good news/Icky news

For anyone who knew how crazy we were to get all of our immigration paperwork in this month- we have great news! We were told that it could take a few months to process and approve our application. Our goal was to get our I-600 A (application to adopt internationally) approved and get our I-797C (basically your approval letter) back in time for our trip. We have an appointment scheduled in Port Au Prince on December 16th to file another round of paperwork but we needed this form back. Well... in an amazing feet of U.S. government efficiency, we received teh I-797C last week! We noticed that the original had been sent to the central processing center in New Hampshire, not Port Au Prince, as we requested. Ah hah! This is where it goes wrong, right? Well, a few quick phone calls later and we find out that the form has indeed been forwarded to PAP and in record time!

As for the dossier that is being translated to be sent to Haiti- that is taking much longer than we anticipated. Apparently, the translator was backed up- not exactly a great sign. Hopefully, the documents will be sent to PAP next week and the Haitian part of the process can begin.

We've had lots of questions about "why this takes so long" so we figured we'd try to give everyone an idea-

The Adoption Process
Minister of Foreign Affairs (MFA)
2-14 weeks
First Legalization (1st Legal). This is where all of the papers are authenticated.

File prepared for IBESR (Concurrent with MFA)
1-4 weeks
When the paperwork is at Foreign Affairs, the lawyers prepare your file for IBESR. IBESR requires that the paperwork be in a certain order. The child's social history and psychological examination required by IBESR for your child must be made during this period. It involves putting the child's social information into a home study format with your home study information.

IBESR
2-6 months
Your child's paperwork is put together with your documents and the file is then presented to IBESR (Haiti's Social Service Department) where a social worker will look over all of your documents and decide whether to approve your adoption request.The director of IBESR, the IBESR lawyer, the head of adoption services at IBESR, and the IBESR social worker must all sign off on your dossier. This is four stages of approval.

Parquet
2-12 weeks
This step involves asking all of the birth parents to come for interviews to make sure that they understand that there children are being adopted. Apparently there was some fraudulent activity going on and he wants to protect the birth parents interests. i.e. make sure they are in agreement.

Civil Court Legalization
2-8 weeks
The adoption is finalized. After this point, the children are legally yours. (2nd Legal)

Minister of Interior Affairs (MOI)/Haitian Immigration
5-20 weeks
The file is submitted to three levels of approval and reviewed for accuracy. Upon completion, the file is submitted to the passport process. The passports are printed in the adopting parents last name.

DHS Processing (U.S. Parents)
1-3 weeks
I-600 is filed by adopting parents. File is reviewed and approved by DHS

DNA Testing
0-6 weeks
May or may not be necessary. Depends on DHS' opinion.

Consulate/Visa Appointment
1 week lead
Child receives visa in preparation for travel to their new home
time

Dossier complete!

Another major milestone! After an insane few weeks, we are officially finished our dossier and filed our immigration paperwork. A dossier is basically a big application package that we send to Haiti's social services. We had to collect medical/psychological reports, criminal background checks, CPS clearances, reference letters, bank statements, employment verifications, etc. All of these documents had to be notarized and then authenticated twice- once in the county in which the respective notary was commissioned and then again in Annapolis by the office of Secretary of the State. The process was not without a few hiccups. Our bank refused to generate a notarized letter in the state of Maryland so we had to figure out how to get the Texas notarized document to a circuit court in Austin... Somehow, amazingly, family friends who live in Austin were coming to town this past week so, after chasing the FedEx truck down I-95 because we missed the last drop box, the letter was overnighted to their house in Austin. Thank you to Chuck and Dianna for running this very important errand for us! We are grateful to the Francis family (Pat, Ray, and Alyssa) who took scenic tours of Maryland trying to hit each of the circuit courts. Thanks to our resourceful and connected friends Terry and Leslie for working to make sure our documents were tracked down and fast tracked. Brenda and Wim- thank you for meeting with us on such short notice! Thank you to Angie, Debbie, Leslie, and Christine for the beautiful letters of recommendation. And lastly, Gary, thanks for letting me take your car when at the last minute ours wouldn't start with an hour to go before the documents were due in Annapolis!

We never imagined that our path to parenthood would include so much paperwork, a car chase on 95, a dead car battery, so many tears, or such a team effort. Stanley is a lucky little man.

We're going to Haiti!!!

It's official! Tonight we booked our flights to/from Haiti in December. We flight out of Fort Lauderdale on the 12th and return on the 16th. We will only have 3 1/2 days to spend with Stanley but we CAN'T wait! Here is an excerpt from the email from Stephanie (our coordinator) about our plans for the weekend...

We will be going down on December 12th and returning on the 16th. This trip will serve a few different purposes. First, many of you adoptive families will be signing your I600’s while we are in Haiti... Our schedule will look something like this: December 12th—arrive in Haiti in the AM. Get to van waiting for us and drive straight to Les Caye... Arrive in Les Caye on that Friday afternoon. December 13th—spend time with the children. Take children swimming. Visit city center, etc. December 14th—more amazing time with the children....We will be having a Christmas celebration with the kids over the weekend. We’ll talk more about that as it gets closer. How fun right?

I'm sure as the trip gets closer, we'll have more details to share! Check out the new pictures we received...

Just getting started

We aren't really so sure what we think about this blogging thing- I mean, who wants to read what we have to say? But, we are so excited to share our newest adventure with our friends and family (along with the people we will meet along the way...)- we are officially adopting a little boy from Haiti! After what has been a long, difficult road to making this decision, we feel an enormous sense of peace and excitement in knowing that our son is out there, waiting for us to bring him home. So, here is the story- After coming home without our Blake this spring, Monica began looking on photolistings (for those of you who don't know, there are actual websites with photos of children who are available for adoption) and came across this picture of a special little guy named Eli. He looked so much like Blake as a newborn that we think we convinced ourselves that we were meant to find him. Perhaps we needed to make sense of what had happened. After realizing that we were rushing into a big decision, we decided not to pursue Eli. We did, however, keep in touch with Stephanie, the woman who worked for the agency in charge of his adoption. We knew she was going to Haiti in August and after a particularly difficult week, Monica randomly sent her an email. She said she had new photos of a baby boy at an orphanage in Port au Prince. The minute we opened our inbox, we knew we had to bring him home! Still struggling to make sense of the loss of our Blake, we wondered how we could take another chance- risk heartbreak again (international adoption is not exactly a sure thing either!) but the truth is, we don't really have a choice. How can we not try to bring him home? Take one look at his big brown eyes and you'll see!

Here's what we've done so far- we have taken the steps needed to update our homestudy and convert it to an international one (different requirements). We have started gathering the millions of documents that we need (physical, psych exam, employment verification, etc.). Everything has to be notarized and then we have to take all of the notarized documents to the county in which the notaries are commissioned to authenticate their commision. THEN, all of the documents have to be taken to Annapolis for another level of authorization. We are hoping to get the last of the documents notarized and authenticated by October 9th. Then, we'll send it all to get translated into French (the official language of Haiti, even though most of the residents speak Creole). We'll explain more about the process later.

The other GREAT news is that we are planning to travel to meet our little guy in December! We'll travel to Haiti and spend four days with him while filing one set of paperwork in Port au Prince. Details later...