Its impossible to describe how we are feeling right now- I am so anxious about this trip but so excited to see Stanley and be back in Haiti. I am terrified about the meeting that our faciltator has arranged between us and the Director of IBESR. We are supposed to meet with her and somehow try to convey our love for Stanley and our worthiness as parents? How do we do that? How do we communicate (through a translator) how we fell in love with him the moment we saw his picture? How do we articulate the sheer joy we felt the first time we held him or woke up with him between us? How can we capture the sense of peace and completeness that we feel when we talk about him? And there is really no way to describe the devastation that we feel each time we say goodbye. I don't know how to make her understand that we are capable of being good parents to Stanley and that her rules don't make sense (without losing my temper).
What if she refuses? What if we have to keep visiting our son indefinately while this plays out? What if he loses more of his childhood?
We leave on Thursday, November 19th for Fort Lauderdale and then on to Port au Prince on Friday. We'll be taking four suitcases packed full of donations (mostly from neighborhood moms). Not sure if we'll post again before we leave and, as always, it may take us a few days to "reenter" the world and get back online. We'll let you know how it all goes! Thanks to everyone for their thoughts, good vibes, prayers, and love.
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